4
Terror

I attempt to negotiate
With the terror within.
I feel it wants to sabotage
Who I think I really am.
 
But it tends to be correct
I tend to be select
I leave parts of myself 
Condemned to the shelf:
what I don’t want to know
what I don’t want to show
 
what I negate internally,
manifests externally.
Negotiate as I may,
the energy does not dissipate
 
Despite how
I consciously try to be my best
Inevitably the fight must be expressed
So I just let it say what it has to say
So I can be on my way
 
at its worst it will create ever more tension
pushing it down until it bursts
it resorts to the next available option
Distorting all my words
 
So I just let it say what it has to say
So I can be on my way